So, I woke up this morning feeling quite normal, almost happy, until one single voice was raised at me for something I did unintentionally. To add even more infuriation to the emotion, I was wrongly accussed; instead of being asked of or about whatever it was, I was literally confronted. I was angered because that was actually not the first time but ofcourse, whoever apologizes for what he obviously did wrong - not and African parent. As soon as I didnt take that, she said it was a dream which was an annoyingly obvious lie that was told just to make me look like I over reacted and I just jumped into conclusion.
Prior to this morning, I hadn't been happy nor felt good and this morning made me wonder if I have ever been happy. If I have, I have forgotten what it feels like to be haply. I feel I am losing myself to trying to please others, everyone other than myself and now finding myself and trying to please my self is getting me in the wrong books of others. I honestly do not want to give a rat's toe, but because I so accustomed to trying to be in the good books of others, there's nothing o would do that I won't actually give a hoot about.
Somewhat, I feel so out of place and alone in a familiar place AND crowd.