Who, when and how to change the World

To change the world you must do what is impossible. For that is what it means to change the world.

Things we do... And seldom admit.

There are many things which everyone of us do but never admit. Here are some -

Let's talk about Marriage

I try to stay as distal as possible from relationship talks however.....
Most folks delve into marriage with the dating mentality. You mayn't wake up to a breakfast in bed, you mayn't come home to an aisle of red roses leading to the bedroom, with a background song by Lionel Richie serenading the atmosphere, you most likely

Mother's Dream Gone To Jail

Mother’s dream gone to jail
As offspring imbibe civilization unknown
Bash mother’s ideas to underneath fashion
Oh freedom on campus is salty meal on nose
Trousers fit to skin in “V” shape at confluence region
Absolute freedom is madness; all plateau of ignorance.

Mother’s dream gone to jail
As dream is stillborn cum nakedness
Thighs disdain prestige to table for C.G.P.A
Thighs cum penny atones for marks
Postinors play host to pit latrines infant dreams
Veteran Aeschylus in bed; Sophocles of immorality
Taboos made norms!

Mother’s dream gone to jail
Hope withers like cassava leaves in harmattan
Dream sacrificed on altars of shawarma and Brazilian mask
Jailed by Carrion birds in academic cum
Matriculation gown in frog shaped land boats
Buttocks vibrate fair speechless messages
Dreams shrink like shrubs; mother gets
Souvenirs of Golgotha as trophy for care on campus
Like those looking for Caesar
Yet going to Caesarea for Caesar.

Ochai Ododoh Emmanuel
English Major, University of Jos.

To Err, To Forgive

I attended a workshop at Catholic Church of the Presentation about a month ago on FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION IN MARRIAGE. The target participants were married couples but singles were also invited. It was precisely on the 3rd of December 2016. Being an aspiring husband, I went out of curiosity. I wanted to hear from married couples what the experience is like. I already learnt a lot about forgiveness and reconciliation from the classes at the Opus Dei centre.

The first speaker was a priest who was also religious. He rolled out well prepared sermons on forgiveness and he got a well deserved round of appluase. Then came the part of the workshop I was interested in, the troubleshooting session. Some elderly daddys and mummys and other members of the MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE UNIT of the parish were called up to special seats facing the congregation. They were going to answer the questions that would be asked. I will eventually talk about this session. After the troubleshooting, a lady was called up to lead us through an exercise on forgiveness. We were all to become more forgiving after going through a workbook called The Path to REACH Forgiveness in about 2 hours.

Surely there were testimonies and lots of lessons were learnt but what struck me markedly were the nature of the majority of the questions that were asked during the troubleshooting session. What I realised was that humanity had not changed even after 2000 years of Christ being around with us. People still asked the same questions that Peter asked Jesus albeit in different ways: "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" I noticed that we all just want to know when to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. We want to know when to call it QUITS. Deep down, we feel there MUST be a point it will get to and we would then be justified in denying the other party the forgiveness we owe them.

Take a look at some of the questions:

(1) How do you keep forgiving a husband who cheats on you with every slightest opportunity he gets, who brings women into your matrimonial bed when you're not around?

(2) Is it right to continue in a relationship where your partner has this bad habit that you can't cope with, but he keeps begging me to give him another chance, yet the same thing keeps happening?

(3) How do you put up with a woman who keeps challenging your authority as a man?

(4) What do you do when you actually get tired of forgiving?

My reaction to this problem is to put forward two suggestions which are actually two successive rungs of the same ladder. The ladder I'm talking about here is called Christian Charity. Charity demands that we love as Christ loves, that we consider first the needs of our neighbour over and above our own. This is precisely how our Lord answered Peter, He told him the parable of the Unforgiving Servant. So the first rung of this ladder is FORGIVE AS LONG AS YOUR NEIGHBOUR NEEDS IT. Just keep forgiving. God readily forgives even when our sorrow is imperfect, so we who are Christians should readily forgives those who wrong us.

Yes we are humans, nearly everything about us is finite. Our capacity to forgive repeatedly ought to get exhausted if not for God's grace that makes it infinite. For the non Christian, it does get to a point where enough is enough, but for the Christian something different ought to happen at that point. The Christian should realise that perhaps my serial offender can no longer help himself. My offender has become a slave, has become addicted, has developed bad habits which have greatly compromised his self control and his willpower. My serial offender needs my help, may need some form of rehabilitation, definitely needs MORE THAN JUST FORGIVENESS.

Many of us know persons who are slaves of Bacchus, slaves of Venus, whose lives have been ruined by substance abuse. These conditions have been studied medically to great extents. We know that it's not enough to pardon such a person for getting drunk and misbehaving, for cheating on us, for getting high on 'pot' and missing a million dollar job interview. We know we have to help them seek THERAPY if we really LOVE them. Regarding a brother who sings against you, this is what Jesus said, "...go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother..." then you can also offer to help him out of the bad habit.

Another issue usually arises when, "yes I have gone beyond just forgiving my serial offender, I have started helping him out of his sinful habits and I have done this for donkey years (God will bear me witness). Haven't I done ENOUGH?" I don't have an answer to this, but St. Josemaria Escriva does. When he talked about Fortitude to his daughters and sons, he told them never to give up on those friends of theirs "because we realize that we can go as far as the gates of hell (in our efforts to help them), but no further, since beyond them it is impossible to love God. This is the way to fulfil Jesus' words, "By your patience you shall gain possession of your souls."". A word of advice from St. Augustine also comes handy "if you say enough, you're finished".

      MORE THAN JUST FORGIVENESS...

Asogwa K.C.

Active in the subconscious.

It’s no new saying that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. My question then is, is the mind ever idle? Even while we are asleep, our minds are at work, thoughts running through. Why then do we think that the mind at some point is or will ever be idle?