Love; its true essence

You have had a litany of people who told you that they loved you, and over time, it seemed like it evanescent  and thus they too faded.
You  have also told some that you loved them and now you seem worn out, because it feels loving them is hard.

May this be a renaissance of the quintessential essence of love.

The purest form of love is choice, and a superficial or egocentric person cannot love, no they can't. Love is deep and spiritual thus requires one who is deep and spiritual (not necessarily religious!).
                 

When a superficial person talks about love, they're actually talking about how they feel at that time, which is predicated on hormones and emotions. They say they are in love (or love someone) when they see an attractive fellow (and perhaps with enchanting musculature or well toned body too) or maybe the way an individual walks, talks or sings etc, it's always based on something sensual, based only on the physical senses. These folks snap out of love with celerity as soon as they get used to and desensitized to all the alluring traits. They're like the allegorical house built on the sand, easily washed away by the flood. These folks confuse sensual attraction for love.
When an egocentric person says they are in love, they're actually talking about how the other party makes them feel. It is in reality about their feelings. They'll love you as long as you do their biding & make them feel good, otherwise frustration and anger sets in. Folks in this class are usually overbearing and control freaks. Their love can only get as deep as you're willing to show obeisance. It is their priority to look good in love.

The pure essence of love has very little to do with feelings and more to do with a choice. It's almost impossible for a soul that is not spiritual to truly love.
Love is first having an in-depth comprehension of what a resolution is, then making a choice to stand by one and remaining unwavering in such decision despite the challenges. When this becomes lucid to you, then you plunge in, knowing that this other person may not be perfect, however you're still going to be the best you can to them. This love is the kind that restrains you when everything in you wants to hit her. This is the kind of love that garrisons your heart with peace in the midst of chaos. This kind of love is a big-time responsibility that you prepare for, it doesn't just happen magically.
It is one based on understanding and knowledge, not based on fairytale or illusions.
This love understands selflessness and sacrifice.

Namaste

Awesome MD